So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sext me about skeletons
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
