we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
