It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
