wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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