my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
