Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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