dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
