my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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