Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
