who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Non-Jews are for practice
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the day after is always just damage control
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
