you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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