We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
