I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
