Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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