Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
