SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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