U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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