Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
