My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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