the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
