Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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