I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
