My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
