I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
