New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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