Welp...herpes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
