I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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