So drunk its hurt
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
