Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
