Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this hospital has no fireball
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
