3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
