yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
