Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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