i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
