There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
