Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
