I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
too bad you live with your parents still
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
its not stalking. its research.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
