Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
