she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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