yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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