all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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