At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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