i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
