I'm going to jail i love you
I just saw a hot homeless man
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
