Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
