Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
