i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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