could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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