You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
