Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
