You made me cry and you don't even care
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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