420 ftw
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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