I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
