this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
