i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize