Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
