In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
