I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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