weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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