yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
