look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm always down for nudity.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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