he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have fence marks all over my body
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
