your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
