Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
