I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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